Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
