The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
