Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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