That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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