Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
