I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
