i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Randomize
