no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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