Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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