And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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