He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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