eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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