all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
