I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
