She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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