also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
