Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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