***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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