I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
