yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
