is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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