just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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