I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
