so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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