Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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