your parents love me but you hate me
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Randomize
