this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
