watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
