she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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