Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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