4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
