I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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