Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize