I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize