i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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