I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize