You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
