You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
