Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
