there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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