it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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