just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
