well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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