Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
