i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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