I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
