so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
