how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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