just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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