6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I want to have your abortion
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
