When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
