I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
