i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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