its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
