what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
