I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
