No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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