sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.