Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"