you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
